ARTIST: Joel Polowin
TITLE: Fifty Ways to Kill an Ensign
Lyrics and Chords


[To the tune of "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover," by Paul Simon]

The problem is something 'bout your clothes, she said to me 
The red shirt and the stripeless sleeves yell, "I'm Security!" 
And when you get down planet-side with Kirk, you'll get to see 
There must be fifty ways to kill an ensign 

/ Em D C B7 / Em Am F#7 B7 / 1st / Em Am Em - /

He takes a landing party down to find what's going on 
A couple of the bridge crew, and some extras come along 
And then before you know it - the 'expendables' are gone 
There must be fifty ways to kill an ensign 
Fifty ways to kill an ensign 

{Refrain}
Just step on a rock, Jock 
Get thorns from some plants, Lance 
A Horta can spray, Ray 
Just listen to me 
Clouds drink up your blood, Bud 
Computers can kill, Bill 
You could lose all your salt, Walt 
Kirk gets away free

/ G - / Bb - / C7 - / G - / :

She said it grieves me so to see you with such nerves 
Not ev'ryone who goes with Kirk will suffer from this curse 
But then of course, you must recall - they sometimes suffer WORSE 
There must be fifty ways to kill an ensign 

Just tell him, "I'm not stupid and I'm not expendable 
I'm not going!"  Tell him that he's a Denebian slime devil 
And he's overbearing, swaggering, and dictatorial 
He'll find a new way to kill an ensign 
Fifty-one ways to kill an ensign 

{Refrain}

Words copyright (C) 1992 by Joel Polowin. Permission is hereby granted to reproduce this material in any non-profit medium provided that its content is not altered and that this notice is appended. I would appreciate receiving a copy of any publication in which it appears: Joel Polowin / 18 Norice St. / Nepean, Ont. / CANADA / K2G 2X5
E-mail: jpolowinXYZZY@sympatico.ca but remove the XYZZY -- itís a little magic to baffle the spambots.


Click here to submit corrections.

How to read these chord charts

Go back to the Table of Contents

Go back to the Index

Go back to my main page