ARTIST: Joel Polowin
TITLE: Fifty Ways to Kill an Ensign
Lyrics and Chords
[To the tune of "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover," by Paul Simon]
The problem is something 'bout your clothes, she said to me
The red shirt and the stripeless sleeves yell, "I'm Security!"
And when you get down planet-side with Kirk, you'll get to see
There must be fifty ways to kill an ensign
/ Em D C B7 / Em Am F#7 B7 / 1st / Em Am Em - /
He takes a landing party down to find what's going on
A couple of the bridge crew, and some extras come along
And then before you know it - the 'expendables' are gone
There must be fifty ways to kill an ensign
Fifty ways to kill an ensign
{Refrain}
Just step on a rock, Jock
Get thorns from some plants, Lance
A Horta can spray, Ray
Just listen to me
Clouds drink up your blood, Bud
Computers can kill, Bill
You could lose all your salt, Walt
Kirk gets away free
/ G - / Bb - / C7 - / G - / :
She said it grieves me so to see you with such nerves
Not ev'ryone who goes with Kirk will suffer from this curse
But then of course, you must recall - they sometimes suffer WORSE
There must be fifty ways to kill an ensign
Just tell him, "I'm not stupid and I'm not expendable
I'm not going!" Tell him that he's a Denebian slime devil
And he's overbearing, swaggering, and dictatorial
He'll find a new way to kill an ensign
Fifty-one ways to kill an ensign
{Refrain}
Words copyright (C) 1992 by Joel Polowin. Permission is hereby granted to reproduce this material in any non-profit medium provided that its content is not altered and that this notice is appended. I would appreciate receiving a copy of any publication in which it appears: Joel Polowin / 18 Norice St. / Nepean, Ont. / CANADA / K2G 2X5
E-mail: jpolowinXYZZY@sympatico.ca but remove the XYZZY -- it’s a little magic to baffle the spambots.
How to read these chord charts